Happy New 2020

Happy new Year everyone!

My apologies for being so slow to follow up on the last blog where I promised a regular slot to talk about womens health and in particular the menopause. December flew by....

So, where to begin?

Right now I'm thinking about the need to be patient and kind with ourselves.

Just as the beginning of a new year can be a time of reflection so can the middle years of a woman and indeed a mans life. Changes in hormones bring about change throughout the body, both in the mind, the physical body and arguably the spirit as well. Everything is connected however you want to describe it.

This last year or so I've found myself questioning, more than usual, who I am and what I'm about. Having read some books and chatted to other women I think there's a common thread of self reflection and reassessment of one's life that can occur during our 40's and 50's. There's a subtle shift in identity. Ideas of self and wishes for the future and what you want from life can begin to change.

If I look back at the person who had babies and survived on a few hours sleep a night, ran around loving them intensely and worrying intensely and feeling that this was what life was all about; that me has gone. Or maybe you might have been career driven and a workaholic. Or both! Whoever you were then, now you may be feeling differently about life and your needs and wondering, what's next?

Now you might be feeling differently in yourself; less visible as an older woman, a bit dissatisfied with the way things are, craving more time alone, or a more creative path. Wanting to be more than your current role of mum, professional, earner etc.

Now is an important time for thinking and exploring new ideas, and for this it's useful to both share thoughts with friends, but also allow to yourself 'me' time or time alone.

One thing I've found incredibly useful is journalling. This may excite you or make you want to close this post down! But bear with me.

The beauty of this is that you can 'say' whatever you think in writing, which is closer to your real self and unconscious self than speech, and by necessity you also have to make time for yourself in the process.

I'd suggest you go, buy a really tactile notebook that you love. A moleskin maybe or similar. Something you know you'll enjoy using. Then find a time in the day when you can curl up alone with it and write.

I'd really recommend first thing in the morning. You need to be alone. If you've got family set the alarm so you've got an hour before everyone else appears.

The most important thing is, Don't check your phone! Its a distraction and immediately you'll begin to fragment off into the world of emails and other peoples lives. Instead, get up, have some hot water and lemon to rehydrate, (well we are talking self care here) , light a candle and burn some beautiful oil, (find the scents that work for you..orange oil, geranium, peppermint etc) do 10/20 minutes of stretching or yoga to clear your mind and energise, then make yourself an amazing mug of tea or coffee or herbal or a smoothie, whatever floats your boat, get comfy, and pour your heart out. Explore thoughts, feelings, desires, wishes for the future, frustrations, ideas, things you've always wanted to do, places you want to go. Get it out and down on paper. This is your time. And you need never read any of it again by the way. Only if you want to.

Then when you're done after 10,15, 20 minutes...try writing down 10 things you're grateful for. This is an interesting and illuminating and heartening thing to do. I did it religiously for a few months and realised it's the little things that really matter. Friends, health, cats and coffee cropped up rather a lot!

I personally have found this activity cathartic and essential, and now I have my notebook ready for ideas and thoughts if I feel the need to register them. The point isn't to record and reread as such, but to record over time and in the moment and explore your ideas and feelings if you feel they need exploring. It can be easier and more direct than talking, and writing can access more directly feelings and thoughts on a deeper level than a chat over coffee might. It can also help clarify things that are bothering you.

If anyone has any thoughts on this I'd love to hear them.

And next time I'm aiming for a quicker post, with ideas on supplements and other alternative remedies that might be beneficial.

Happy writing. Don't forget to carve out your space. You're worth it.